Friday, January 25, 2002

REV: The Snags & The Mulletov Cocktails

Review, The Snags & The Mulletov Cocktails, Schreiner University, January 2002

Students actually show up for S(C)U event!
tony gallucci, The Mountain Sun

Okay. There's a bunch of punks in the county. That's why we got this new curfew thang. But some of the local school punks are doing the music punk thang, and they're too old for some curfew thang anyway. Then you got the punks from neighboring Band-dare-ya County, where you wouldn't think there was a punk thang, but there is, `cause The Snags proved it Friday night at Schreiner, the local University that used to be a college.

The Mulletov Cocktails started thangs off. They got their own crowd of people to listen to them. They been selling their own CD Food Stamps, Fast Cars, and Full Nelsons to them it looks like, cause some of them showed up. What a concept. Schreiner students at a student function. Whoa!

Well the cocktails, Dusty Bahlsak, who points at himself a lot in one of their songs and calls himself Junior, rips the raw out of his tidy little Fender thang. Sawyer McReynolds bagged a twelve-point buck in that same song -- probably just beat the dang thang to death `cause his hands don't sit still long enough to hold a gun without shootin' up the whole county. Then there's screamin' bass-dude Jesus Xavier “Tiny” Jiminez III. He can pedal around the fat-strangs like Lance Armstrong, even if he don't spell his name like them other Jimenez' I know.

So the MCs do two of them punk thangs really swell. They do the raw thang like punk was made to be. You don't know when they're gonna end a song, `cause they probably don't know, and it works great. Then they do that humorous thang so well that that's all they do. Don't mess with the success thang.

They leave no friend unturned as they pound on Tanya the Tattletale, Matt Stotz, Scott Kamis and Sammy Gonzales so hard them people better find another place to live. Half of them probably got permanent wiretaps after the Cocktails ratted on them digitally. I can already hear those tunes being played in the courtroom.

Check these out: I Think My School Is Mean, Gimpalicious, The Ballad Of Dietert Chapel, Mulletov Cocktail Stomp. And, oh yeah they got somethang with the Mullet deal, that tasty (I didn't say tasteful) ditty from hairdresser hell.

Anyway, they're funny. You'll laugh. Go see `em. Try Solid Gold on Thursdays. That's where they tear it up sometimes.

Okay then, there was this bunch of guys from Band-dare-ya. The Snags. Yo. If the MCs hit the raw part of punk on the nose, then these guys nailed the tight, po'ed part of it like a highway jackrabbit.

This is them. Eric Brown was the ultra-swov-ay lead vocal dude -- no instrument but the old voice. Fred Jennings was Mr. Rubberman, flying all over the stage, flying all over that red Strat fretboard, doing the psycho backup vocals, doing the personality thang. Brandon Childers was the bass player from the real world -- mistake him for the local computer geek and then he rips your throat out with his teeth. Dan Ersch never said a word, just flailed them drums like there was somethang valuable down in there and he had to get to it.

Now which one of those guys is the brain behind the group, ain't no telling. Ain't no telling. But I got a sneaking suspicion it was the rhythm guy, James Mazurek. He's the one that did the shy-guy-with-his-back-to-the-crowd thang. I think he said a couple of thangs, but the other guys put him up to it, I`m sure of it.

So anyway, these guys scream. They are tight, tight, tight. They were what they call the old counterpoint. Cocktails' raw to Snags' tight. Cocktails' hilarious originals to Snags' hard covers. And you know what? It was one fine night of punk. Better than that, it was one fine night of music. `Member that -- music.

So, Eric dude can wail. And it ain't just that he's pitch perfect. `Cause he is. He nailed everythang. That means he didn't miss a single note. The best part is, every once in a while his voice came dripping through those augmented power chords and reeling runs. The boy can sing. He could do Tony Bennett if he wanted to, but why waste an instrument like that.

And Jennings. There was smoke coming from that boy. He's tight. He nails the covers, adds his own flair, and can just scream whenever he wants to. Childers pounds out whatever he wants, and sometimes matches the Fred dude note for note. James the brains knows his stuff inside F out too. And if he weren't playing the el-shy-o he'd step up there and do a little dueling thang. Ersch? Well, one look you know he's got the chops.

And if that weren't enough, the wildman of the Nords, Dreadmoon's Daryl the Koerth steps up and rips a few tunes with them. Then Sawyer from MC does the same. THEN, both of them hit the mikes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I already told you it was music. It was.

So, before I tell you how they laid a new level on Velvet Underground's (Lou Reed's if you gotta know) Sweet Jane, and before I tell you they pulled out the stops on the Dead Kennedys, Radiohead, Buzzcocks, Nirvana, NoFX, and the Beach Boys, before I tell you that, I gotta tell you that their originals were as good as anythang I heard all night, and they better start doing more of those. More. Lots more. Stuff like The Teletubbies and Bandera Sucks. More.

So I was gonna tell you somethang else, but I already told ya. But more. More Big Pimpin', California Girls, Uber alles Kalifornia, Sugar High. More.And more He's Scott Kamis, Mullegeddon, and Tanya is a Tattletale. That's what this place needs -- a little edge.

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