Thursday, July 21, 2005

COM: U.S. Postal Screwups

The USPS, with whom i have unlimited anger for a multitude of reasons, seems to have enough spare money/wherewithal to hire someone to write instructions on how to mail a hippo . . .

a hippo . . . i spelled that right

think i'm kidding . . . here's the link

and i'm adding the text here, since this is getting national blog coverage the way things usually work is this kind of nonsense disappears quickly from the net when someone with some sense gets wind . . .

very funny . . .

Hippos

You'll need:
1,000-gallon tank per hippo
1,000 gallons of water
Crane
1-pound sedative
Soothing hippo music
2 Aspirin (for you)

How to pack:
1. Fill your tank with 800 gallons of water. Start yesterday. Remember, a medium-sized hippo takes up at least 200 gallons. (Just out of curiosity, why do you have a hippo, anyway?)

2. Apply sedative. Take two Aspirin.

3. Hold it, hold it - put the hippo in the tank, first. Start with soothing hippo music, followed by a large winch and crane.

4. Now go relax in a hot bath before the forklift arrives.

WAIVER: We in no way advocate moving a hippo or any animal without the express advice and consent of your local vet or zoo keeper. If you'd like advice from a veterinarian on moving with pets
click here .

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