Thursday, October 13, 2005

COM: Choice

I asked John Arvin a question via email (which he eruditiously supplied pronto), and he later sent me an email which i will reproduce in its entirety below. What i need to acknowledge here is that it got to John via Bill Eley (proprietor of the birding blog Crows Really Are Wise), and he apparently from Jon Montgomery via his daughter Carrie Stewart. The way it was laid out it's possible Carrie is the author of this piece. If she is, i say fantastic. If she isn't she can pass my fantasticisms along to whomever. . .

How many Internet Forum Posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

40 posters who don't believe in light bulbs at all and instead post links to pseudo-scientific sites that claim alternate theories of light production.

12 to point out that there is no right to light in the US Constitution.

4 to post that all the tech support for changing light bulbs is being outsourced to India.

1 post showing a picture of a light bulb and a picture of someone who resembles a light bulb.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

1 poster that has converted all his light bulbs to fluorescents, so he very rarely has to change them.

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

13 to tell you candles should be in all well-prepared households in the event of a lightbulb burnout.

5 postings that say they do not use light bulbs...only candles.

1 to mention the "lite" bulb is made of low-fat cheese.

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

HaHa! Forgot about the 1 to check with Snopes to advise that changing the light bulb was a hoax...

Carrie Stewart


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