Friday, May 13, 2005

COM: Trouble converting with the truth, eh?

This is choice . . .

From the Institute for Creationist Strategies via Dumbass Convention via Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

Strategy 2: Creationism renaming competition

As you know, lately we have enjoyed increasing success in getting religious explanations of life reintroduced into public school curricula, and we believe our strategy of "repackaging" every 10 years has been a critical contributor to this success. In particular, it has allowed our members to appear more "fair and balanced" at school board meetings. In addition, the coverage from local and national media has been extremely favorable to "equal time" initiatives at school board meetings, a trend that has caused much wailing and tearing of flesh among the evilutionists (for which we humbly beg forgiveness!). We are therefore excited to announce the next renaming competition, and hope your congregation will consider submitting a phrase.

As in past competitions, entries will be judged on succinctness, creativity, and aptness -- with extra consideration being given to phrases that sound scientific and not overtly religious. 1995's winner, "Intelligent Design," demonstrated all these attributes. For the 2005 competition we are introducing a "web site" component (we're not opposed to all change!), in which contestants will spell out the tenets of their "theory." As with the current "Intelligent Design" web sites, successful sites will attempt to avoid direct references to God, Creator, and such. Subtle cues to the improbability of evolution are of course acceptable and desirable. Sites must include supportive testimony from at least one scientist, preferably a biologist currently employed by a major university. Please try to avoid science fiction authors, if possible. Although the Committee is composed primarily of Christians, we would encourage submissions from all people who share our strong fundamental values.

The winner's congregation (11 family limit, please) will receive a 2-day trip to Disney World in Orlando. (That's in addition to the eternal fame, of course!) Mail entry phrases and your site's URL to (Mr. Roy Vanandel) by March 21st, 2005. Good luck, and may your entries be INSPIRED! As in previous years, families of the Renaming Committee members are ineligible.

Strategy 3: Engage and distract a scientist

A large source of opposition to the teaching of Creation in publich schools comes from evolutionary biologists, geologists, and other scientists at colleges, universities, and liberal think tanks. But to be an effective force, these individuals must have free time in which to advise parents and school boards. Therefore, since 1993 we have been promoting the "Adopt a Scientist" plan, which entails engaging the person in discussions via e-mail and on discussion boards. In particular, by logging into "evolution friendly" discussion forums under several different login names, Creationists can effectively tie up a scientist for several hours a week. By 1998, we felt that this program had distracted a substantial number of scientists from developing evolution-centered lesson plans for middle schools, from writing textbooks for high school, and from other activities that tend to facilitate the teaching of evolution in the K through 12 curricula. We like to call it, "blogging them down." For especially active scientists, we have encouraged "double teaming"; in some cases up to 12 individuals have combined forces to distract a single scientist. In these situations it is unusually effective for several members to log in as "teachers in search of help", which draws in evolutionary biologists, for hours, like helpless moths.

To find some evolutionary biology discussion groups, run a Google search for "evolution discussion." Have fun!

More broadly, more and more evolutionary biologists feel compelled to write large books critiquing Creationism, Intelligent Design, and other ideas that undermine their beliefs in scientism. These books take a long time to write, and are only purchased by authors of similar books out of professional courtesy. Those prolific evolutionists just don't seem to realize that their efforts would be far, far greater if they stopped writing books and started writing lesson plans for public school teachers. Ha!


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